I did not take Larkin’s advice. I have two children. I will have lunch with them today. I have a wonderful relationship with them. Yet, I know that I have been part of systems that will affect them forever. What has been been cool to watch is that they are making their own way in life while breaking some of the patterns they were burdened with.
I am not a fan of made up holidays. I do not need a “fathers day” for myself or to remember my father as f’ed up as we both were (are in my case). I also feel for those fathers, sons, and daughters who struggle with this day because no one wants to make commercials of their dysfunctional relationship with their father. My heart goes out to you who are fatherless or wish you were. My heart goes out to those fathers who are childless (or it seems to be) because of dysfunctional relationships.
I learned a lot from my father both positive and negative. I imagine my children can say the same. I know that my parents are not responsible for the patterns of my life. They, like me, were just part of many systems. I accept that without judgment.
I accept that my addictive cycles and recovery are part of new and old systems. They are not my parent’s fault.
in peace and love